Looking in this mirror and wondering
I wonder if I'm your reflection as you are mine
I wonder if I'm your opposite
If so you must be a great guy
You must be successful and rich
You have to be...if I'm your opposite
I wonder if in another galaxy in another dimension if you're in your mirror asking the same exact question at the same exact time
If so you must have done it all....I hope
I would hate for someone light years away to have wasted as much time in their world as I did in mine
I wonder, but....
How is it that you're able to meet me here so often
How is that you're able to be here everyday
How is that you have just as much time on your hands as I
How come we never meet at another mirror
Why is it always at some job I don't care to work
Or some courthouse that I wish I weren't in
Or even worse, how is it that we meet at this bathroom mirror every morning
Maybe I'm not your opposite but your replica...your duplicate
And maybe you live in a small apartment that smells funny
And each morning you wake up to the same cheap bathroom mirror as I
Talking to me, your reflection and imagining that I'm doing so much better than you
Maybe that's it
Maybe I found myself
And maybe I don't like the person I met
Maybe...
-Cash
http://www.marvandcash.com
Monday, May 10, 2010
A Framed Thought
For this moment in time
For this second of my imagination
She lives on the screen of my laptop, hidden beneath a pile of emails
Look at her
Look at the way she stands
Look at the way her hair covers her face
Look at the way her hand hangs from the tip of her underwear
Its almost as if she wants to please herself but refuses to do so till I'm there to watch
For this moment in time
For this second of my imagination
She lives on the screen of my laptop, hidden beneath a pile of emails
Look at the way she spreads her legs open
Look at the way she leans against the bathroom door
Her picture holds a thousand moans
And if I listen hard enough I can hear each and every one of them
I can hear her breathing heavy
I can hear the whisper of my name
I can hear her asking that I go deeper
I can hear each passionate moan
From looking at this picture and becoming lost in imagination...
Shhhh....can you hear it
This is as close as she has allowed me to get
A picture...a framed thought....a shared piece of imagination...
And I know that its only so long I can look at it
Its only so much of this imagination I can take before I burst into flames
So one last time I view it
One last time I remember how much I loved being inside her
One last time I remember how much she loved for me to be inside of her
I take a deep breath
I shake my head, lick my lips, wipe the sweat from my face
And hit the delete button
She lived on my laptop screen
She's now imprisoned in my fantasy
A framed thought.....
-Cash
http://www.marvandcash.com
For this second of my imagination
She lives on the screen of my laptop, hidden beneath a pile of emails
Look at her
Look at the way she stands
Look at the way her hair covers her face
Look at the way her hand hangs from the tip of her underwear
Its almost as if she wants to please herself but refuses to do so till I'm there to watch
For this moment in time
For this second of my imagination
She lives on the screen of my laptop, hidden beneath a pile of emails
Look at the way she spreads her legs open
Look at the way she leans against the bathroom door
Her picture holds a thousand moans
And if I listen hard enough I can hear each and every one of them
I can hear her breathing heavy
I can hear the whisper of my name
I can hear her asking that I go deeper
I can hear each passionate moan
From looking at this picture and becoming lost in imagination...
Shhhh....can you hear it
This is as close as she has allowed me to get
A picture...a framed thought....a shared piece of imagination...
And I know that its only so long I can look at it
Its only so much of this imagination I can take before I burst into flames
So one last time I view it
One last time I remember how much I loved being inside her
One last time I remember how much she loved for me to be inside of her
I take a deep breath
I shake my head, lick my lips, wipe the sweat from my face
And hit the delete button
She lived on my laptop screen
She's now imprisoned in my fantasy
A framed thought.....
-Cash
http://www.marvandcash.com
When It Rain It Pours
When it rain it pours
And it darkens
The wind picks up and blows across the surface of earth to cool down the hell beneath it
I see it so clearly
When it rain it pours
And lighting falls
Miles above us the gray clouds of the sky roar and wrestle on another for hours
They grow tired and begin to breath heavy
Their punches become slower
In moments of silence they stand and try hard to regain their strength
And they sweat
For hours they sweat
While we watch the sky's fight, drenched in the down pour and praying the fight ends
Begging the sun to come between them
But instead the sun allows it
He allows them to continue
When it...rain...it...pours
And I find myself in the middle of it
Soak and wet, confused
Asking why has this cloud followed me for so many years
Why has this storm chased me through life
How do I escape
And eventually, I give in
Again and again and again and again
I begin to listen to the patter of raindrops as a beat or melody to such madness
I begin to listen to the rattle of thunder as bass in the sky's speakers
The lightning becomes a light show
And I dance
I live through this storm
And learn to dance in its rain......
When it rain it pours
And again I find myself in the middle of it, confused....
-Cash
http://www.marvandcash.com
And it darkens
The wind picks up and blows across the surface of earth to cool down the hell beneath it
I see it so clearly
When it rain it pours
And lighting falls
Miles above us the gray clouds of the sky roar and wrestle on another for hours
They grow tired and begin to breath heavy
Their punches become slower
In moments of silence they stand and try hard to regain their strength
And they sweat
For hours they sweat
While we watch the sky's fight, drenched in the down pour and praying the fight ends
Begging the sun to come between them
But instead the sun allows it
He allows them to continue
When it...rain...it...pours
And I find myself in the middle of it
Soak and wet, confused
Asking why has this cloud followed me for so many years
Why has this storm chased me through life
How do I escape
And eventually, I give in
Again and again and again and again
I begin to listen to the patter of raindrops as a beat or melody to such madness
I begin to listen to the rattle of thunder as bass in the sky's speakers
The lightning becomes a light show
And I dance
I live through this storm
And learn to dance in its rain......
When it rain it pours
And again I find myself in the middle of it, confused....
-Cash
http://www.marvandcash.com
Thursday, March 25, 2010
"I want to be more"
I want to be more to you
More than a person that your heart beats for
More than the passionate make of love
More than climax…I ask
How do I be your more
How do I make my all more than your everything
What's more than you constantly thinking of me
What's more than you wanting to spend your every moment next to me
What's more than me being the air you breath
What's more than making your highest expectations of me, a minimum at best
How do I become more to you
Where does more than forever lead
And once I have you there…how much more can I do to lead you further
If the world is what you've asked for
how do I give you more than just this spinning rock
More
How do I become more to you
And if I give you the impossible
I need it to seem as if its barely enough, just so I can use it as motivation to give you more
More….
How do I…..
But in the end, if I could move mountains to see your smile
If I could stop storms to give you a ray of light
If I was able to become your more…
It would never compare to looking in your eyes
And hearing you say to me that I'm your's…..
-Cash-
More than a person that your heart beats for
More than the passionate make of love
More than climax…I ask
How do I be your more
How do I make my all more than your everything
What's more than you constantly thinking of me
What's more than you wanting to spend your every moment next to me
What's more than me being the air you breath
What's more than making your highest expectations of me, a minimum at best
How do I become more to you
Where does more than forever lead
And once I have you there…how much more can I do to lead you further
If the world is what you've asked for
how do I give you more than just this spinning rock
More
How do I become more to you
And if I give you the impossible
I need it to seem as if its barely enough, just so I can use it as motivation to give you more
More….
How do I…..
But in the end, if I could move mountains to see your smile
If I could stop storms to give you a ray of light
If I was able to become your more…
It would never compare to looking in your eyes
And hearing you say to me that I'm your's…..
-Cash-
"The Value of Worthless"
Sometimes you just get tired of being tired
And sometimes you hear words like
Maybe, its possible, most likely, it might….and it's like
You hear them but you listen even harder
And mommy said once its somebody out there doing worse than me
But see, where you may see this beautiful tree
I most likely see my only ray of sunlight being blocked by leaves
And believe it's somebody out there doing a lot better than me
And telling mommy "well it could be worse, at least I'm not him"
It's dim in my spot light of life
And this dark cloud has so much rain
That I have begin to wear it's wetness as garments
As accessories, it compliments my pain so good
It's the same color as these shoes that no one other than myself dares to walk in
Often I stain the skin of my face with tears
It's here that I dwell
Beneath a rock of sorrow, a shadow of doubt, a taste of the finest misery
Is it me, or is this life
Because sometimes I get sick and tired of being tired
And sometimes, I want to enjoy letting go
I want to find relaxation in the depth of a scream
I want to feel the warmth of wet tears
I want to find the sanity of a morn
And when asked what's wrong
I want to speak…to place my heart on the base of their ears
To hear this pain, this hurt
But my lips refuse to work
My speech is lost for words
And I talk…I lie…I say
"No, I'm okay"
But I'm sick
No cure
Sick and tired of being tired
This is the illness of life
-Cash-
And sometimes you hear words like
Maybe, its possible, most likely, it might….and it's like
You hear them but you listen even harder
And mommy said once its somebody out there doing worse than me
But see, where you may see this beautiful tree
I most likely see my only ray of sunlight being blocked by leaves
And believe it's somebody out there doing a lot better than me
And telling mommy "well it could be worse, at least I'm not him"
It's dim in my spot light of life
And this dark cloud has so much rain
That I have begin to wear it's wetness as garments
As accessories, it compliments my pain so good
It's the same color as these shoes that no one other than myself dares to walk in
Often I stain the skin of my face with tears
It's here that I dwell
Beneath a rock of sorrow, a shadow of doubt, a taste of the finest misery
Is it me, or is this life
Because sometimes I get sick and tired of being tired
And sometimes, I want to enjoy letting go
I want to find relaxation in the depth of a scream
I want to feel the warmth of wet tears
I want to find the sanity of a morn
And when asked what's wrong
I want to speak…to place my heart on the base of their ears
To hear this pain, this hurt
But my lips refuse to work
My speech is lost for words
And I talk…I lie…I say
"No, I'm okay"
But I'm sick
No cure
Sick and tired of being tired
This is the illness of life
-Cash-
"The Quote"
"The only difference between a law abiding citizen and a savage is, three days with no meal." -Billy Hume
"Money Grows On Trees"
Money is the root of all evil
Who said that
Who was it that told you that lie
These days we can't get enough evil
I need some evil for food
I need some evil to put gas in this beat up car
Money is nothing more than paper
The skin of a tree branch that has been tattooed with faces of the dead
Not once has it converse with me
Not once has it grabbed my hands and physically led me to danger
Not once have I been attacked by money
At what point was money granted the luxury of having a spirit
When did this happen
What day
Why wasn't I informed
How can something so powerful have no value to me the day I leave this earth
An idea…an action…a memory is powerful
If executed properly, the three can continue a life on this earth without me
Their value never dies
Not money, 10 dollars will still be 10 dollars as I sleep beneath the lawn of this planet
I promise you that
But what happens when you take food from a lion's den
If a shark has not ate, what occurs if blood spreads through his oceans
When the cubs of a tiger starve how often will the mother of these tigers hesitate to feed them
Is she picky of what they eat
By far…..
No this is when instinct meets survival
This is when the strong survive and the weak perish
This is the scenery of "by any means necessary"
This is….this is the moment
The moment that you'll do whatever is needed to survive
To eat
To live
And money…money isn't the source or the core of this situation
Its not money that's the root of all evil
Not having it is…
-Cash-
Who said that
Who was it that told you that lie
These days we can't get enough evil
I need some evil for food
I need some evil to put gas in this beat up car
Money is nothing more than paper
The skin of a tree branch that has been tattooed with faces of the dead
Not once has it converse with me
Not once has it grabbed my hands and physically led me to danger
Not once have I been attacked by money
At what point was money granted the luxury of having a spirit
When did this happen
What day
Why wasn't I informed
How can something so powerful have no value to me the day I leave this earth
An idea…an action…a memory is powerful
If executed properly, the three can continue a life on this earth without me
Their value never dies
Not money, 10 dollars will still be 10 dollars as I sleep beneath the lawn of this planet
I promise you that
But what happens when you take food from a lion's den
If a shark has not ate, what occurs if blood spreads through his oceans
When the cubs of a tiger starve how often will the mother of these tigers hesitate to feed them
Is she picky of what they eat
By far…..
No this is when instinct meets survival
This is when the strong survive and the weak perish
This is the scenery of "by any means necessary"
This is….this is the moment
The moment that you'll do whatever is needed to survive
To eat
To live
And money…money isn't the source or the core of this situation
Its not money that's the root of all evil
Not having it is…
-Cash-
"The Cheater"
What did I do wrong
I mean…what step did I not take
Was the path that was meant for me covered in rock and leaves
Was it hidden beneath some forest
I have no good stories to tell
No accomplishments to be proud of
I'm so tired of writing poetry about the negative thoughts that own me
The pains that console me
If only it was something else to speak about
But its not….
Instead it’s a conversation with Depression
And she always returns to my life
In her seductive red dress and heels reminding me of how long I've waited for her
"Baby did you miss me" she whispers softly into my ears
And yet again, I ignore Happiness to be share an intimate moment with her
Pain and Immaturity have grown their own relationship inside me
Their late nights and nonchalant attitude has become destructive
They have met Addiction who joins them often, but stays longer each time she visits
She enjoys watching me become passionate with the two of them
To her it’s a turn on
I try to explain to Happiness they mean nothing to me
And each time she allows me to return to her knowing that somehow I will betray her again
That my lust for Depression is so much more powerful than the love she has for me
That Pain and Immaturity have a way of becoming an influence to me
And over brunch I discuss them all with Patience
She tells me she has a friend that she would like me to meet
See…become attached to
That she's a calm soul and seeks attention and change
She calls herself Maturity and is an enemy of Pain and her peers
Just not my type….should be, but she's not
I'm to busy pleading to Happiness
Instead I'd rather lie
I'd rather pretend
I would rather hide what I'm aching with
And live another day praying the world can't look inside me
I never want them to witness such a dysfunctional relationship
Inside me…...
-Cash-
I mean…what step did I not take
Was the path that was meant for me covered in rock and leaves
Was it hidden beneath some forest
I have no good stories to tell
No accomplishments to be proud of
I'm so tired of writing poetry about the negative thoughts that own me
The pains that console me
If only it was something else to speak about
But its not….
Instead it’s a conversation with Depression
And she always returns to my life
In her seductive red dress and heels reminding me of how long I've waited for her
"Baby did you miss me" she whispers softly into my ears
And yet again, I ignore Happiness to be share an intimate moment with her
Pain and Immaturity have grown their own relationship inside me
Their late nights and nonchalant attitude has become destructive
They have met Addiction who joins them often, but stays longer each time she visits
She enjoys watching me become passionate with the two of them
To her it’s a turn on
I try to explain to Happiness they mean nothing to me
And each time she allows me to return to her knowing that somehow I will betray her again
That my lust for Depression is so much more powerful than the love she has for me
That Pain and Immaturity have a way of becoming an influence to me
And over brunch I discuss them all with Patience
She tells me she has a friend that she would like me to meet
See…become attached to
That she's a calm soul and seeks attention and change
She calls herself Maturity and is an enemy of Pain and her peers
Just not my type….should be, but she's not
I'm to busy pleading to Happiness
Instead I'd rather lie
I'd rather pretend
I would rather hide what I'm aching with
And live another day praying the world can't look inside me
I never want them to witness such a dysfunctional relationship
Inside me…...
-Cash-
"The Quote"
"Life isn't waiting for the storm to pass. Its about learning how to dance in the rain"... -Vivian Greene
"The Alarm Clock"
This morning was a different day for me
It wasn't the sound of an alarm clock that woke me from the covers of my bed
Instead it was the rhythm of my heart
It's sound was deep and passionate
It was the duplicate sound of freedom fighters who marched
It was the sound of a million men in D.C. chanting "change"
It was the sound of MLK
It was the sound of JFK
It was the sound of bricks crumbling in Berlin
It was the sound of millions who spoke with one voice
I didn't hear an alarm clock this morning
Instead I heard Chicago from the window of my bedroom
I could hear New Orleans from the window of my bedroom
I could hear Texas from the window of my bedroom
There was no alarm clock to wake me
And if it was, then it would drown in the sound of tears
It would be a distant background noise in the sound of celebration
Not this morning….for the alarm clock was silent, and it was change that guided me from the covers of my bed
It was change that woke me
It was change…and it didn't make me feel black, white, or a man or a woman, or a minority or majority
Instead I felt equal
It made me feel human
It made me feel as if I have the same opportunity as any person that breathes this Earth's air or walks among it's surface
I felt changed….change….I felt brand new
I felt that I had survived yesterday and the days before me
I stood...
I lived….
I live…
I welcomed myself to the first day of tomorrow
I changed..
It was change that woke me up this morning
-Cash-
It wasn't the sound of an alarm clock that woke me from the covers of my bed
Instead it was the rhythm of my heart
It's sound was deep and passionate
It was the duplicate sound of freedom fighters who marched
It was the sound of a million men in D.C. chanting "change"
It was the sound of MLK
It was the sound of JFK
It was the sound of bricks crumbling in Berlin
It was the sound of millions who spoke with one voice
I didn't hear an alarm clock this morning
Instead I heard Chicago from the window of my bedroom
I could hear New Orleans from the window of my bedroom
I could hear Texas from the window of my bedroom
There was no alarm clock to wake me
And if it was, then it would drown in the sound of tears
It would be a distant background noise in the sound of celebration
Not this morning….for the alarm clock was silent, and it was change that guided me from the covers of my bed
It was change that woke me
It was change…and it didn't make me feel black, white, or a man or a woman, or a minority or majority
Instead I felt equal
It made me feel human
It made me feel as if I have the same opportunity as any person that breathes this Earth's air or walks among it's surface
I felt changed….change….I felt brand new
I felt that I had survived yesterday and the days before me
I stood...
I lived….
I live…
I welcomed myself to the first day of tomorrow
I changed..
It was change that woke me up this morning
-Cash-
Spider Webs
My actions don't speak for exactly who I' am
I was blessed with the gift of dedication
And cursed with the feeling and strain of hunger
Is a person a thief…if they have stolen to feed those who can't eat
Am I no longer human if I must kill a man to save another man's life
Is life that brutal that survival determines who we are
Because I to have a heart that beats irregular
A soul that fears it's date with death
For its unsure of where it may travel, and knows the end is near
My tears have grown dry and become sand beneath my eyes
A mere distraction of vision
So I pray
I kneel to my knees and beg for the Lord's mercy
That those I have turned away from, turn against me
That I be forgiven for my grief and this addiction to eat
To live
To breath
To taste
I pray….
That just this once, for these moments
God loves me enough to look the other way
….Forgive me Father, for I have sin.
I was blessed with the gift of dedication
And cursed with the feeling and strain of hunger
Is a person a thief…if they have stolen to feed those who can't eat
Am I no longer human if I must kill a man to save another man's life
Is life that brutal that survival determines who we are
Because I to have a heart that beats irregular
A soul that fears it's date with death
For its unsure of where it may travel, and knows the end is near
My tears have grown dry and become sand beneath my eyes
A mere distraction of vision
So I pray
I kneel to my knees and beg for the Lord's mercy
That those I have turned away from, turn against me
That I be forgiven for my grief and this addiction to eat
To live
To breath
To taste
I pray….
That just this once, for these moments
God loves me enough to look the other way
….Forgive me Father, for I have sin.
"The Night Cap"
I couldn't sleep last night
Nor could I sleep the night before
I somehow became lost in the sheets of my bed
And I found myself trapped beneath my nightmares
Beneath my nightmares
My ceiling was nothing more than the floors of a broken dream
And through its cracks….its mold…I was able to watch my nightmares unfold
"Don't go in that room!!"….."Run, keep running please don't stop"
These were the silent soundtracks of my cries
The volume of my yells were at their highest, but yet I was unheard
I was unseen
I was there, but so far away
I was deep…lost in the sheets of my bed
Unable to sleep
Trapped deep beneath my nightmares and tortured by watching them.
The basement of sleep was cold and yet so familiar
Its bottom were of rocks
And I was accompanied by a crowd of others
They had watched their nightmares for so long that they had become unable to fear them
Instead they embrace each horrible image
And their eyes….their eyes….
They had lost fire and become shallow
And as horrible as this place was they welcome all that came
And they grew violent and showed hatred for those who escape
I thought that I couldn't sleep last night
I thought I was unable to sleep the night before
It felt as if I was lost in the sheets of my bed
Watching my nightmares…..
And when the sun cracked its dim skinny arms through the curtains of my bedroom window
When the alarm clock begin sounding and its beep echoed between my ears
When my eyes were open the same as they were while watching my nightmares
I noticed……..
I noticed that I had I never fell asleep..not the night before …nor did I fall asleep last night….
I have yet to begin my dream
And was still living my nightmares…..
Good morning.
-Cash-
Nor could I sleep the night before
I somehow became lost in the sheets of my bed
And I found myself trapped beneath my nightmares
Beneath my nightmares
My ceiling was nothing more than the floors of a broken dream
And through its cracks….its mold…I was able to watch my nightmares unfold
"Don't go in that room!!"….."Run, keep running please don't stop"
These were the silent soundtracks of my cries
The volume of my yells were at their highest, but yet I was unheard
I was unseen
I was there, but so far away
I was deep…lost in the sheets of my bed
Unable to sleep
Trapped deep beneath my nightmares and tortured by watching them.
The basement of sleep was cold and yet so familiar
Its bottom were of rocks
And I was accompanied by a crowd of others
They had watched their nightmares for so long that they had become unable to fear them
Instead they embrace each horrible image
And their eyes….their eyes….
They had lost fire and become shallow
And as horrible as this place was they welcome all that came
And they grew violent and showed hatred for those who escape
I thought that I couldn't sleep last night
I thought I was unable to sleep the night before
It felt as if I was lost in the sheets of my bed
Watching my nightmares…..
And when the sun cracked its dim skinny arms through the curtains of my bedroom window
When the alarm clock begin sounding and its beep echoed between my ears
When my eyes were open the same as they were while watching my nightmares
I noticed……..
I noticed that I had I never fell asleep..not the night before …nor did I fall asleep last night….
I have yet to begin my dream
And was still living my nightmares…..
Good morning.
-Cash-
Monday, March 15, 2010
"I Miss Her Again"
I miss her again
I know I shouldn't
I know that I'm not suppose to
But I do
I do miss her again
And I won't say it. I won't show her my thoughts
I won't allow her to see this movie of memories that plays over and over in my head
Besides,...right before the credits is a happy ending
She has he, I have she
That's how it should be
Happy...Ending
The ending of what we shared is suppose to bring us peace and happiness
Her changing moods and attitude is why I left in the first place
It was no space for laughter...so we both left and found it
Happiness that is
We both wanted to smile again
It felt to good to never try again
Smile that is
But she changed. She rewrote the plot and concept of our movie
She stop being the villain and became beautiful again
When ...we.....became...friends again
When it became to late
So now I hide
I put this sign up that says friendship whenever she is near me
I won't let her know who is behind this sign
I will never tell her that behind it is a man who has begin to miss her
A man who misses the sound of her laugh
A man who misses the taste of her
A man who misses how she once yearned for the me the way I yearn for her now
I miss that
Her that is...
I know that I shouldn't
That I'm not suppose to
But I do
I do miss her again
But I have to settle for our happy ending
I have to lie
I have to act as if I haven't thought to myself for weeks
What it would be
To please....her....one last time
I have to pretend. I have to continue being her friend
And promise that I will never say to her
How much it is that I miss her....
Again
I know I shouldn't
I know that I'm not suppose to
But I do
I do miss her again
And I won't say it. I won't show her my thoughts
I won't allow her to see this movie of memories that plays over and over in my head
Besides,...right before the credits is a happy ending
She has he, I have she
That's how it should be
Happy...Ending
The ending of what we shared is suppose to bring us peace and happiness
Her changing moods and attitude is why I left in the first place
It was no space for laughter...so we both left and found it
Happiness that is
We both wanted to smile again
It felt to good to never try again
Smile that is
But she changed. She rewrote the plot and concept of our movie
She stop being the villain and became beautiful again
When ...we.....became...friends again
When it became to late
So now I hide
I put this sign up that says friendship whenever she is near me
I won't let her know who is behind this sign
I will never tell her that behind it is a man who has begin to miss her
A man who misses the sound of her laugh
A man who misses the taste of her
A man who misses how she once yearned for the me the way I yearn for her now
I miss that
Her that is...
I know that I shouldn't
That I'm not suppose to
But I do
I do miss her again
But I have to settle for our happy ending
I have to lie
I have to act as if I haven't thought to myself for weeks
What it would be
To please....her....one last time
I have to pretend. I have to continue being her friend
And promise that I will never say to her
How much it is that I miss her....
Again
"The Rain"
Its raining today
And again I left my hat on the kitchen table
Right next to my ipod
For the millionth time I'm not prepared for the unexpected
The rain is cold and somewhat stings
Each drop calmly walks from the tip of my thoughts to the souls of my loafers
But yet I appear to be so ready
So expected of the unexpected
My collar is up and stylish
My hands are tucked deep in the pockets of my expensive pea coat
My eyes are nearly closed to protect my pupils from being flooded
I strut through the sky's draining moment seeming to almost enjoy its drench
I want to lie to myself and say that the down pour doesn't effect me
But the puddles have begin to seep through my shoes
My socks have a slight uncomfortable dampness to them
Why did I wear these socks
If I would had took 30 more seconds to check I could had grabbed my hat
I could had brought an umbrella with me
If I would had stop to think, then maybe...just maybe I would had wore thicker socks
But ....I...don't...stop....and think
I rush. I make impulse decisions and grow confused and question why the consequences are so great
And if I can't understand the reasons then I find people to aim the tip of my fingers toward
Point...blame
So its just me and this rain and this mask
Pretending as if I'm not upset from being soaked
And the vomit of this gray cloud is all too familiar
The wetness...its outcome...its visit
Again I saw the storm inching towards me
But yet I fail to pay it any attention
And as always
Again
I left my hat on the kitchen counter
And again I left my hat on the kitchen table
Right next to my ipod
For the millionth time I'm not prepared for the unexpected
The rain is cold and somewhat stings
Each drop calmly walks from the tip of my thoughts to the souls of my loafers
But yet I appear to be so ready
So expected of the unexpected
My collar is up and stylish
My hands are tucked deep in the pockets of my expensive pea coat
My eyes are nearly closed to protect my pupils from being flooded
I strut through the sky's draining moment seeming to almost enjoy its drench
I want to lie to myself and say that the down pour doesn't effect me
But the puddles have begin to seep through my shoes
My socks have a slight uncomfortable dampness to them
Why did I wear these socks
If I would had took 30 more seconds to check I could had grabbed my hat
I could had brought an umbrella with me
If I would had stop to think, then maybe...just maybe I would had wore thicker socks
But ....I...don't...stop....and think
I rush. I make impulse decisions and grow confused and question why the consequences are so great
And if I can't understand the reasons then I find people to aim the tip of my fingers toward
Point...blame
So its just me and this rain and this mask
Pretending as if I'm not upset from being soaked
And the vomit of this gray cloud is all too familiar
The wetness...its outcome...its visit
Again I saw the storm inching towards me
But yet I fail to pay it any attention
And as always
Again
I left my hat on the kitchen counter
Without
You don't miss air....
Till the day you aren't able to breath
When your eyes are forever closed
Vision then becomes priceless
I just...think, to myself
Alone in this room
With the lights off and the door closed
Fully clothed...
But my heart is in the nude
Its no longer dressed by the palms of your hands
Instead it lays here bare and cold
Yearning for something to cover and stop it from shivering
Because that's not a heartbeat
Its the shakes of bitterness
Isn't this....
What you wanted
For me to compare pain with guilt and determine which scar cuts the deepest
They both hurt
We take touch for granted till our hands are removed
Walking is second nature till our legs no longer work
The wrong doings I once couldn't see now repeat in my memories
Forever....forever ever...forever ever
God I can't breath without air to inhale
I can't live without blood in my veins
I pray I beg for forgiveness, I yearn for her
I agree to give you my mind and body...my control
If you promise to give back to me
If you're willing to return my soul
Please.....
Till the day you aren't able to breath
When your eyes are forever closed
Vision then becomes priceless
I just...think, to myself
Alone in this room
With the lights off and the door closed
Fully clothed...
But my heart is in the nude
Its no longer dressed by the palms of your hands
Instead it lays here bare and cold
Yearning for something to cover and stop it from shivering
Because that's not a heartbeat
Its the shakes of bitterness
Isn't this....
What you wanted
For me to compare pain with guilt and determine which scar cuts the deepest
They both hurt
We take touch for granted till our hands are removed
Walking is second nature till our legs no longer work
The wrong doings I once couldn't see now repeat in my memories
Forever....forever ever...forever ever
God I can't breath without air to inhale
I can't live without blood in my veins
I pray I beg for forgiveness, I yearn for her
I agree to give you my mind and body...my control
If you promise to give back to me
If you're willing to return my soul
Please.....
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